The Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters
by Mandriel
Summary: Where do characters go when they are currently forgotten? What happens there? Rap, apparently.


**AN: So while reading the manga, between thinking of how badass Naruto and his bros are, I couldn't help but wonder what was going on with Iruka (had he left the island/turtle and was he fighting the juubi?), Anko (was she even still alive?), Yamato (he kinda vanished after Kabuto kidnapped him on the island/turtle) and Killer B (how did he survive after Gyuuki was extracted from him?). I know that at that moment, we had more important things to think about – namely the fate of the world – but hey, I couldn't help but wonder afterward.**

**So this is my idea about what happened.**

**Not really, it's more of a CrackFic, but whatever XD**

* * *

**The Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters**

It was dark.

And by dark, B didn't just see your ordinary, regular, generic, everyday darkness. Nah, this was _dark_ dark. Like, you couldn't see your hands dark. Like you couldn't see _anything_ dark. Like you've closed your eyes dark, but that's not dark enough. It was like he was wearing five sunglasses on top of the sunglasses he was already wearing, he was sitting in a cave with no lighting ten miles under Earth's surface and his eyes were closed. And his hands was over his sunglasses.

That was how dark it was.

So B was sitting there. In the dark. With his eyes closed. Well, his eyes may or may not have been closed. It wouldn't have made a difference if they were or weren't.

He looked around. Which was completely pointless as it was, you know, _**dark**_.

It didn't take him long to see that he was alone. With the darkness. And was somehow alive without Gyuuki.

At least, he thought he was alone until somebody tripped over him. He wasn't used to people tripping over him as most people tried to keep their distance from him. But he guessed that as it was _**dark**_, this was an exception.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the other person screamed as they fell into B's lap.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" about fifty other voices screamed from the distance. There came a scampering sound as the beings charged away from the noises.

Using his quick mind, B did what he did best.

_Hey bro, you alright?  
__I tend to give people a fright._

Hey, he did it best. That doesn't mean it was useful.

"What? B, is that you?" said the voice, climbing off B, "What are you doing here?"

B squinted in the direction of the voice and considered taking off his sunglasses. Then being who he was, he decided that looking cool was better than being smart and decided against it. Despite the fact that it was too _**dark**_ to see him being cool.

_Yeah bruh, it's me  
__You know me as Killer B_

"Yeah, but what are you doing here?"

_Hey, I got no clue  
__So bruh, what about you?_

"I don't really know either, I just kinda woke up here. Do you know if Naruto's ok?"

_Looks like he's gotten bad lucked  
__Chances are, he's definitely-_

"Can you try talking like a normal person for three seconds?"

B sighed, "Sure, whatever." he said, "So who are you?"

"Iruka, I was on that island turtle thingy."

"Oh yeah, Naruto's bro. Yeah, you're that guy. By the way, I totally dig that scar on your face."

"Thank you?" Iruka tried. He probably wasn't used to people saying stuff like that.

"Yeah, it's kinda like _BAM! _On your face! It's really awesome. How did you get it? Some legendary fight? The Kyuubi? During the war?"

"Um, I walked into a pole when I was a kid."

"What?"

"It was during the previous war, though. I kinda just... Wasn't looking where I was going and walked right into a pole."

"Oh. That's... Really kinda boring, man."

"It hurt a lot. There was blood everywhere."

"Still bruh, it was a pole. You walked into a pole. That's like, the most boringest thing that could ever happen."

"That's not even a word."

"Yeah it is."

"I'm a teacher, I should know."

"Yeah, but it's a word because I say it is."

"What are you two losers talking about?" a woman's voice cut through the _**darkness**_.

_Holy dingleberries, girl!  
__I think that now I want to hurl!_

"Oh god, not that again..." Iruka groaned.

"Finally, everyone else we'd try and talk to would run away, screaming about spirits and being dead." came another voice.

"Hey, Tree Guy!" B exclaimed, excited to hear a familiar voice, "I thought Kabuto kidnapped you!"

"He did." said more masculine new voice, "And 'Tree Guy'? Really? I'd give you my scary glare if it wasn't so dark."

B shrugged even though nobody could see him, "Hey, you can make trees. It's a good nickname. And I kinda forgot your real name."

"It's Yamato."

"I'm still gonna call you Tree Guy."

"I figured."

"Sweet, let's all sit down in a little circle and introduce ourselves." said the woman, "And our hobbies. And the teddy bears we cuddle with at night when we go to sleep."

"I cuddle a toy cow." B corrected her.

"Yeah, and I have a dolphin." Iruka put in, "His name's Shishi."

"I don't have a stuffed animal, but I got this toy broccoli with a face sewed on it." said Yamato, "I called him Mr Broccoli."

"Seriously?" said the woman, "That's lame. You should have called him Brian, it sounds way better. I'm Anko, by the way. I have a toy snake called Ana that I use to strangle people who break into my house."

There was an awkward pause.

"So does anybody know where we are?" Iruka asked.

"I've been here a few times." Anko told them, "I call it the Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters. It seems like this is where we go when we're doing absolutely nothing and there's no reason for us to do anything. At least, that's what happens for me."

"Come to think of it, this place does seem kinda familiar." Yamato mused, "I never really thought that I was actually going to another place."

"Yeah, me too." said Iruka.

"Well, if you've come here as often as I have you'll stop passing this off as some kind of dream." Anko drawled.

_Do you know how long we'll be here?  
__'Cos there's kinda a war going on over there_

"We could be here for a few hours. Or days. Or months. Or maybe even years."

"Won't somebody notice that we're missing?" Iruka wondered.

"Has anybody?" Anko asked him, "Nah, we're going to stay here until we become relevant to the plot. Or at least have a quick appearance. Then I highly recommend that you busy yourself with something that does not include lying unconscious on the floor or else you'll be right back here again."

"I knew I should have gotten off that goddamn island and joined in the fight..." Iruka muttered.

_So looks like we're gonna have to wait this out  
__Then we'll get to return, that's what it's all about_

"Why does he keep talking like that?" Anko questioned.

"It's called rap." Yamato explained, "Though I always thought you're meant to mumble something illegible about shooting hookers and MCs and burning money and banging women and speak in a much more racist manner."

"Yeah, that too." said B, "But I like to rap about the present. Ain't no time like the present."

"You do know that it makes you really, really hard to understand, right?" Anko pointed out.

"I don't think he cares." said Iruka.

"No I do not." B announced proudly, "I'm great at not caring."

_I don't care, bruh  
__Life's cool when you don't care, bruh_

"That doesn't rhyme." Yamato pointed out.

B sighed, "Tell ya what, while we're here I'm gonna teach you all about rap. Then when we get outta here, you can be just like me."

"Do we want to be just like you?" asked Anko.

"I don't." said Iruka.

"Well, too freaking bad." said B cheerfully.

* * *

"So this 'Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters' is a real place, then?" the Sixth Hokage, Kakashi asked. He, Iruka, Yamato and Anko were standing in his new and totally cool office (the fact that he got his own office was the best thing ever. Even though he didn't like it all that much, it was cool). They'd just recounted their story of the Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters to him.

"Yeah, who knows who else is stuck there?" Iruka said, "I can't help but wonder how many times the previous Hokages had ended up there?"

"Probably plenty." said Yamato.

"Bruh." said Anko.

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan." Iruka added.

Kakashi gave them a quizzical look, "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I can sense a song coming along." Anko stated, ignoring his question entirely and nodding her head to an imaginary beat, "Bruuuuuuuuuuh."

Yamato was suddenly holding a boombox made out of wood and began beatboxing.

"_Nananananananananananana_" Iruka sang, "Bruh, man, bro, bruh, mah homies." he pulled a pair of shades out of his pocket and put them on over his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Listen up, yo wanna fight me?" Anko asked nobody in particular as she put on some sunglasses of her own, she nodded at Yamato who put on his shades and continued beatboxing, the boombox over his shoulder.

Kakashi wisely decided not to comment as Anko began to rap.

_Yeah bruh we're with the sixth Hogake  
__He's up top while we're stuck eating karaage  
__All ya little bruh homies wanna be like me  
__Yeah lemme sit back and lemme sip mah tea  
__You wanna be a cool bro up the top  
__Lemme see if ya got what it got  
__Yeah got what it got_

"_Got what it got, bruh. Got what it got bruh..._" Iruka echoed.

Anko continued.

'_Cos kid, you ain't seen nothing yet  
__I go back an' kick some MC in the head  
__Why? Bruh, I do what I do  
__I care for me I don't care for you  
__And I got tonnes of money  
__So I can go burn it, it's funny_

"_Money, money, money, banging women, shooting MCs, insert racist names, insert sexist names_." Iruka mumbled.

_Bruh, I know I'm bad lookin'  
__But with me, I get – um – free pudding  
__Bruh, they say I got a heart of ice  
__But bruh, I'm really likin' mah rice  
__Mah daddy told me that life ain't always fair  
__And my momma... Um... Said nothing 'cos she got... Eaten... By a bear  
__And that's life, life is life  
__So I just wanna stab you with a knife  
__I got stuck with Orochimaru  
__And lemme tell ya, that was f*cking sad, yo_

Yamato paused his beatboxing to agree. "_Yeah bruh, yeah bruh._" he and Iruka chorused. "_Sad yo, sad yo._"

_Bruh, bruh, bruh  
__Stabbing MCs is really really fun  
__For some reason everybody hates 'em  
__Er... Probably because they steal all the ramen  
_

"_I like raaaaaaaaaaamen._" Iruka sang dreamily, "_Ramen bruh, ramen bruh_."

_Ramen is nice, ramen is good  
__And I got a lot of money right where I stood  
__The Juubi really sucks  
__But it got defeated, that rocks  
__And now I got tonnes of gold and silver-_

She cut off suddenly and the room was thrown into silence. "What rhymes with silver?" she asked.

"Liver?" Yamato tried.

"That doesn't really rhyme but whatever."

_Better than getting stabbed in the liver  
__Meet mah fist now meet the floor  
__Maybe ya shoulda walked right out that door  
__Fall from grace bruh, fall from grace  
__We go 'round and take – take up the chase  
__'Cos this is the Dimension of Currently Forgotten Characters, bruh  
__We're currently forgotten, yah  
__Ripped wings, we're the dark angels-_

She cut off and groaned loudly. "A little help here?" she pleaded.

Iruka shook his head and sighed, "Nothing rhymes with 'angel'. Can't think of anything that sounds similar off the top of my head."

"Maybe we should just replace that line entirely?" Yamato tried.

"No way, it sounds way too awesome." Anko insisted, "What about 'bagels'?"

Kakashi cut in, "That sounds great, why don't you go find Naruto or Sasuke or somebody and ask them for ideas?"

"He probably just wants to get back to reading porn instead of working." Yamato told his bros, "Come on, our work is done." he turned, the boombox resting on his shoulder and led the three of them out the door.

Kakashi stared blankly at the place where they'd been standing moments before. He quickly came to his senses and made his way over to the door, hung a sign saying '_do not disturb, really important paperwork is being completed and interrupting me will result in mutilation and/or death_' and locked it, pushing a bookcase in front of it for good measure. Though he knew that the bookcase wouldn't do jack squat in keeping people out, it did a good job at making it look like the door wasn't there and he was all alone in a world where crazy bad rappers couldn't come running in.

Silently, he withdrew a bottle of vodka and his favourite instalment in the _Icha Icha_ series from his awesome desk's draw.

He needed time to recover from the trauma.

A _lot_ of time.


End file.
